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Chester & Rodney - Can I have some more?

Posted by Rodney on

As you may know, Chester and my three other siblings compete in agility almost every weekend. I’m still too young to participate in these competitions, but I always go with them because I like car rides and, well, so that I don’t have to stay home alone. If I stayed behind, I’d probably binge watch “Game of Thrones”. I like me some snacks when I’m watching TV. And, after a few hours, I’m sure I’d be starving and I might get myself into trouble securing munchies. First of all, I’d raid the kitchen, even though I know that’s a “no-no, bad dog”. I doubt I’d find much in terms of junk food, definitely no candy. Therefore, I’d be forced to don Chester’s go-to adventure disguise of sunglasses and a trench coat, and head to Whole Foods. I’ve thought about this before and have it all planned out: upon entering, I’d tackle the fruit and vegetable section. I love me some ripe tomatoes and peaches. I would eat broccoli along the way, for the fiber content. Then, I’d head right over to the meat section for some fresh cuts - but no beef as I don’t want to turn into an angry cow. I’d follow that with some wine and cheese. I’d supply the whine. I would probably need some desert to top it off, but I hear that Whole Foods doesn’t sell any unhealthy candy. And, really, why eat candy if it’s not unhealthy? Luckily, there’s a Target nearby, which I’d have to pass on my way home anyway. I’d stop there and head right to the candy section.

I’ve never had candy, I wonder what I should choose? I’ve heard of these things called marshmallows. They look like they’re made from the same stuffing found in toys and pillows or, at least, something similar. I like that stuffing. I’ve spent many an hour gutting my toys so I could ingest the marshmallow fluff that’s inside. It is my understanding that people roast marshmallows, but that might prove challenging. Where would I find an open fire? I mean, I could take mom’s kitchen flame thrower…how does one use that without opposable thumbs? I suppose I’d have to eat the marshmallows raw or hope for a really hot day and let them sit on the sidewalk for a few hours. They’d probably get full of ants, yuck. I’d have to brush them off or take the marshmallows inside to rinse them in the kitchen sink. Nah, too much work. Maybe I could nuke them. How would a marshmallow fare in the microwave? Would it toast or explode? Imagine the mess they’d make if they exploded in the nuker. Who wants to clean that up? Oh well, raw it is. I’d have to remember to get some chocolate bars and graham crackers on my Target run. Cold marshmallows may not be what the s’more recipe calls for, but it’s better than nothing.

In any event, I’d have to rush back in order to get home before the rest of the family. I’d need to make sure to put the disguise away exactly like Chester left it, otherwise being the astute devil that he is, he might notice. And, after the s’mores, I’d have to clean the kitchen of any evidence, too…do dishes…clean the counters. I’d probably need to wash the marshmallow guts out of my mustache. Wow, I’m getting tired and stressed just thinking about it. Forget it, I might as well go to the agility trial with the family.

If you enjoy Christina's writing, check her books out! She is the author of “Chester Gigolo: Diary of a Dog Star” and "Insider Training: Chester Gigolo’s Dog Training Secrets Revealed” for which she won the 2016 DWAA Captain Haggerty award for Best Training Book and the 11th Annual National Indie Excellence Award (Animals & Pets). She is also a contributing author to “Animal Stars: Behind the Scenes with Your Favorite Animal Actors”. She has written multiple articles which have appeared in various international publications